dead.

PLAY IT LOUD! THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS/DEAD




I returned a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the expiration date
I came back as a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the date stamped on myself



Did a large procession wave their
Torches as my head fell in the basket,
And was everybody dancing on the casket?



Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do



I will never say the word
"Procrastinate" again; I'll never
See myself in the mirror with my eyes closed
I didn't apologize for
When I was eight and I made my younger brother
Have to be my personal slave



Did a large procession wave their
Torches as my head fell in the basket,
And was everybody dancing on the casket?



Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do

(So) So I won't
(Sit) sit at home
(And) anymore
(And) and you won't
(And) see my head in
(And) the window
(And) and I won't
(And) be around
(And) ever anymore
(And) and I'll be up there on the wall at the store



I returned a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the expiration date
I came back as a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the date stamped on myself



Did a large procession wave their
Torches as my head fell in the basket,
And was everybody dancing on the casket?



Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do



Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do

Santa Fangs Is Coming To Town

YOU BETTER NOT SHOUT...

The oily pipe smoke that circled the Jolly Old Elf's hoary head smelled like peppermint and children screaming. It was so thick it burned my eyes as my nephew and I stood in line for the Season's perfunctory snapshot and Xmas wishing. Unfortunately, it wasn't the worst smell that assaulted us. The aromas of dirty diapers, the Mall's food court and the boubon-belches of the red-eyed "elf" at the camera combined into a toxic soup that hung in the still air of the over-heated Mall. I silently prayed that Santa's pipe would not accidentally ignite the air with a spark - sure death for us all. The line shuffled forward. Too many people with too many packages made for slow going in the velvet-roped queue.

...YOU BETTER NOT CRY...

Too many people with too many small children...and far too many of them screaming, I thought. Screaming as they held their parents' hands leaning as hard as they could away from the "snow covered" platform and throne. I felt a small tug at my left hand. My nephew, six years old and sharp as a tack, made eye contact and whispered,

"Do we have to do this today?" He blinked away tears - must be the irritating smoke.

...YOU BETTER NOT POUT...

"Well I told you Momma we'd get your picture taken while we shop for a present for your parents and your little sister." I squeezed his hand reassuringly and winked.

...I'M TELLING YOU WHY?...

He blanched, "Don't do that!"

...SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!

"Don't do what?" I asked.

HE'S MAKIN' A LIST...

I saw him struggle to swallow before he spoke. "When you blink with one eye - don't do that, please Uncle Timothy?!"

...CHECKIN' IT TWICE...

"Why not, Sport?"

...GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY OR NICE...

He pointed a finger timidly toward the throne,"That's what HE keeps doing. I don't like it!"

...SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!

to be continued

"The battle of the me so wafer thin..."

"...the line between the devil's teeth and that which cannot be repeat..." PETER MURPHY/DEEP

Let us begin from a point of clarity. Never have I imagined that the barrier separating me from my darker self was made of stone. No brick bulwark built between. At best I pictured it as a glass wall on a darkened room. Slick, cold, solid, impenetrable glass - giving only a reflection of my sane self if I chose to stare. Only a reflection - as long as the room it protected remained darkened.

I can't exactly recall when the lighting conditions began to change. I can remember flashes from the other side. Camera bulbs - instant, bright, blinding that seemed to reveal a space larger than the one my sane me occupies. Sometimes the slow, yellow hiss of a match strike glinting off the teeth of a cock-eyed grin. Regardless of when it began, as time passed the flashes increased in frequency, brilliance and duration. Staring became irresistible.

During the next few days, as we fall towards Halloween and the harvest's bounty gives way to the withering chill of frost, I'll try to share a few of the stories I've glimpsed when the light revealed my darkened insanity.

I hope we'll enjoy them.
PLAY IT LOUD! GARY NUMAN/COMPLEX

Wednesday, October 10 - Bilateral Cheilectomy

PLAY IT LOUD! SUNNY by BONEY M



I suffer from a condition known as "hallux rigidus." Literally "stiff toe." I am one of millions worldwide with this condition. It is basically a growth of bone tissue that makes it impossible to bend or pronate my big toes on each foot without pain. Please don't hate us. Aside from our hideous bone growth, we're just like normal people.



Okay, our feet might be a little gross. Next week, I will have both toes opened up so that the additional bone can be ground off in the hopes of making standing and walking less painful and easier. Like any good Healthcare consumer, I immediately Googled my surgeon to verify that he could be trusted to peform the procedure. This picture came up:



Yes. MING THE MERCILESS, CRUEL DESPOT OF THE PLANET MONGO AND FLASH GORDON'S SWORN ENEMY! I hope it was just some sort of "cyber trickery" a search engine "oops!" I must admit, the "official" picture below does bear a bit of a resemblance to Lord Ming. It's the merciless eyebrows I think.

Insomnia

"Oh maybe I would sleep better without this ticking clock on my lap? I'm just too sleepy to tell."

"I should close my eyes, but who would watch the clock for me!"

"Too late for Letterman, too early for Coffee - I AM IN HELL!"

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood..."