Santa Fangs Is Coming To Town

YOU BETTER NOT SHOUT...

The oily pipe smoke that circled the Jolly Old Elf's hoary head smelled like peppermint and children screaming. It was so thick it burned my eyes as my nephew and I stood in line for the Season's perfunctory snapshot and Xmas wishing. Unfortunately, it wasn't the worst smell that assaulted us. The aromas of dirty diapers, the Mall's food court and the boubon-belches of the red-eyed "elf" at the camera combined into a toxic soup that hung in the still air of the over-heated Mall. I silently prayed that Santa's pipe would not accidentally ignite the air with a spark - sure death for us all. The line shuffled forward. Too many people with too many packages made for slow going in the velvet-roped queue.

...YOU BETTER NOT CRY...

Too many people with too many small children...and far too many of them screaming, I thought. Screaming as they held their parents' hands leaning as hard as they could away from the "snow covered" platform and throne. I felt a small tug at my left hand. My nephew, six years old and sharp as a tack, made eye contact and whispered,

"Do we have to do this today?" He blinked away tears - must be the irritating smoke.

...YOU BETTER NOT POUT...

"Well I told you Momma we'd get your picture taken while we shop for a present for your parents and your little sister." I squeezed his hand reassuringly and winked.

...I'M TELLING YOU WHY?...

He blanched, "Don't do that!"

...SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!

"Don't do what?" I asked.

HE'S MAKIN' A LIST...

I saw him struggle to swallow before he spoke. "When you blink with one eye - don't do that, please Uncle Timothy?!"

...CHECKIN' IT TWICE...

"Why not, Sport?"

...GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY OR NICE...

He pointed a finger timidly toward the throne,"That's what HE keeps doing. I don't like it!"

...SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!

to be continued