Tuesday, May 29, 2007

May Our Memories Of Them Never Fade

I know since my politics veer left of center, it may seem odd that Memorial Day would for me be so solemn. I am afraid that for the second time in my 43 year old life that we are in a war we cannot win. I wish that I was wrong. More than 3400 of our young fighting men and women have given their lives. 30,000 so injured they will never return to the military. A third of that number disabled for a lifetime.

God Bless America. Keep her young men and women from harm.

Friday, May 25, 2007

My Adorable Niece and Nephew

I'm an insufferable Uncle. I'm always showing pictures of my Sister Rachel and her husband Mark's progeny. Pictured are Donovan (of Late a Pretend Car Salesman) and Katie (Professional Wrestler). The Cuteness Factor just went way up on this blog.

Thursday, May 24, 2007


If we could shrink the earth’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the village would look something like this:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
8 Africans
52 females
48 males
70 nonwhite
30 white
70 non-Christian
30 Christian
89 heterosexual
11 homosexual
6 people would possess 59 percent of the world’s wealth;
all 6 would be from the United States
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both North and South
70 would be illiterate
50 would suffer from malnutrition
80 would live in substandard housing
1 would be near death;
1 would be near birth
1 would have a college education
1 would own a computer

Source: Amnesty International

Does Dark Matter?

The Universe is mocking me, GENIUS! It screams - only NOW as my body fails I see it
in the folly of Physics and Cosmology! So simple, just so simple. Our blasted eyes were
focused on the light - LET THERE BE LIGHT, GOD, MAN & COINCIDENCE! Before the Light
GOD existed in a dark eternity alone. It is into that blackness we will
all one day dissolve.

The LAWS that govern us, endless patterns created from staring too long at
the CHAOS. Newton driven half Mad, Einstein never finishing his Unifying Theory,
Hawking has twice revised his attempt to bring cosmology, physics and mathematics together. And
how he has sufferred.

Only in the oily black of true chaos is the universe's "truth" visible, if even for a nanosecond.
The chaos of unpredictable sub-atomic particle motion. God's first toy for himself - one not
even He can predict.

And as my Anxious Mind dissolves into the chaos of its many noises I hear Him, Dark God.
He tries to free me from the seen, the accidental - patterns are inevitable in infinity but they are
anomaly, an unclean shining blue speck in the beautiful smooth Darkness. He speaks,

"How Ya Doing?"

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Dance This Mess Around!

Afghanistan - dee dee dee dee deep.
Jalabad - dee dee deep dee.
The Taliban - dee dee dee dee deep, dee dee deep, dee dee deep,
Dee deedle dee dee, deep deep dee deep dee...

Monday, May 21, 2007

What'd You Say? Well I'm Just Askin'!

You Say Bin Lay-den and I Say Ben Lah-den.
You Say al Quay-da and I Say al Qui-da.
Bin Lay-den, Ben Lah-den.
al Quay-da, al Qui-da.
Let's Call The Whole Thing Off!

Sunday, May 20, 2007


Apparently my recently deleted blog entry, a variation on the "Golden Rule" which included a clinical word describing a pair of sensitive glands on the male body, offended some people. I received a few "please remove me from your email distribution list" requests from people who've known me and my "twisted" sense of humor for decades.

Remarkable really that the word "testicles" would offend. At least I didn't say "balls, nuts, jewels, stones, cojones or 'nads." And I made no reference to the "scrotum" - the bag that matches no one's belt or shoes.

"Curioser and curioser" - the "bar of personal offense" is so easily lowered or ignored. I hope my blog won't be "Imus-ed." I am hardly shocking.

Perhaps I say things best only thought... but musn't someone?

Tuesday, May 08, 2007


I could catch fire! The conflagration is disproportionatly frightening as to the intended joyous concequence!


Sunday, May 06, 2007

The Air-Traveler's Prayer

Lord, as I soar Heavenward tomorrow please keep me safe in your hands.
Protect me from the Man who thinks HIS life story is as interesting as mine.
Lead me not into flatulence and may I not be flatulent unless there is a toddler nearby to blame. "Oh what a lot a gas fer a little fella!"
May my ears be clean and free of flakys as may the ears of the sucker in the middle seat who booked last minute.
May I not be seated near the suckling babe for we know that's a waste of a boobie sighting.
Protect me from the men from those teeny bladder commercials, talkative ten year olds who aren't easily intimidated by a withering stare and groups of teenage girls traveling anywhere, at anytime, on any conveyance, ever.
May the Airline Magazine Crossword be not screwed up by someone with a single digit I.Q....in pen.
Bless the Pilot, may he not greet us as "the Pilot, from the Cockpit," where the hell does he think we think he is?
May the Aircrew all pee clean.
May the Sky-Waitresses be efficient witout being perky, especially if they're in their forties.
And if there must be Male Stewardesses let them know WE CAN ALL TELL, YOUR SECRET IS OUT.


Saturday, May 05, 2007

Always Defending A Negative

It matters not how long my sobriety has proceeded. At any moment, anyone close to me can accuse me of drinking, Then I, through no fault of my own must do the impossile - prove a negative vs. justified assumption. I cannot win so my efforts to change the mind of my accuser are in vain. Ignoring the assumption becomes a tacit acknowledgement of it's truth.

It's a lose lose lose lose situation. And one I have created for myself through past bad acts. My past Guilt adequate for fututre deeds.