Next Week!

It's SPAY BOBBIE MONDAY! But don't tell the cat.

The Continuing (Endless?) Adventures of Monkey

Monkey stuck to the trail as the Wise One had instructed - occassionally leaving his feet to hang as he traveled the trees hand over hand. Exhaustion began to whisper in Monkey's ear - Rest! Sweet Monkey, lie down and let my sleep take you!

Monkey shook his tired head and blinked his eyes against the thought. The wind drew a tear from Monkey's eye and in it it saw the gleam of red - Jungle Red - he knew the Pagoda was near.

Walking now, his strength renewed, he aimed his ambling gait - straight and tall like a Man - he strained and toward the Sweet Pagoda he strode. Soon I will dream, Monkey whispered...

...and the winner is...

Most Likely To Have The LOWEST APPROVAL RATING IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES PRESIDENCY.

Legacy, Schmegacy.

When Last We Left...

Pet Shop Boys


... our young-ish hero/anti-hero LITTLE TIMMY TEN TOES had uprooted the rickety and thoroughly questionable TREE OF SO-CALLED LIFE he lived in Mini-no-place and moved the whole damn thing to Texas. He "loaded up the truck and he moved to Beverly, Hills that is... swimmin' pools, movie stars..." or at least to the capitol of North Texas Suburbia - Arlington.

"Oh, Arlington, thy streets are filled with day-laborers while thy churches stand air conditioned and empty.

Thy strip-malls endless as they chain thy streets, NAILS, TAQUERIA and KIDNEY DIALYSIS (no lie) wall to wall to wall.

So served, art thou, by malls and restaurants - do thy children sleep comfortable and full?

Now build the yard where 'Boys can play and past thy little boys stare."

He wrote a tiny verse. Awkward, insolent and heartfelt - all three, I know. Seems odd.

Bobbie Baby

I've always fallen in love too easily. That's why I restrict myself to kittens now... So many men, so few required.

Oh My Sweet Dear God, NO!

Patsy Cline - CRAZY More Like UNDIAGNOSED MENTAL ILLNESS


It was funny when it happened. Minnesota had 3 candidates for Governor and Jesse THE CRAZY Ventura was able to rouse the "slacker vote" and become the chief executive of - Thank God - a fairly weak Governorship. Four years of talk show appearances and questionable hijinks later, he moved to Mexico, grew a bizarre biker-beard and crawled under a political rock.

Now he's back on the talk show circuit throwing rocks instead of hiding under them. Launching balloons like running for the US Senate against Norm Coleman (conservative tool, married to a trophy wife) and Al Franken (liberal tool, Insincerity on a stick) he scares me - more than either unsavory Party affiliate. And even floating the idea of Jesse THE VICE PRESIDENT Ventura is the sort of thing you should scream yourself awake in a cold sweat during.

Trust me America, that joke isn't funny anymore.

Introducing My New Baby

LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT






Though I constantly fight the urge to call my new baby "Stinky" her name is Roberta Apassioniqua Fifi Hogan - Bobbie to you and me. It has been instant love, just like it was with Stinky. I thank the "kitty compatibility Gods" for that good fortune. She's a little too young to write her own blog entries, but I'll get started teaching her conversational English soon.

A little prayer of thanks goes up as she dozes on my chest. We never outgrow love, thank God.

There's no basement at the Alamo!

Q: Why doesn't Chuck Norris wear a watch?

A: Because Chuck decides what time it is.

Hey! The epistle has relocated to Texas bringing it's left-leaning Yankee ways to the state that spawned me, both President's Bush (W. and Barbara) and WALKER TEXAS RANGER.

I have a new email address: thogan2@tx.rr.com and if you're sweet or want to send me a gift you can email me for my new mailing address.

I can only imagine that my return to my native soil (which I must sleep in during the day) will add a "mui caliente" aftertaste to all of my new epistle entries.