Sunday, March 18, 2007
my Bubba is 'mart
Somehow My little Brother has always managed to avoid the full flow of MOTHER's Judgement/Love equation without getting stuck in the emotional whirlpools that the rest of us struggle to swim in. His marriage and his two boys have dimmed the spotlight on he and his wife, as the "perfect"- next of kin grandchildren (her's by the Theory of MANIFEST GRAND-MOTHERHOOD) monopolize her Love and only her Judgment remains for the rest of us.
I chose the safety of geographic distance, mental illness and self mediction to stunt the emotional probes from my Mother "your MOTHER in Texas." Everytime, always. Then I lost control of my substances and ended strpped, naked - warts, scabs and all in MOTHER's WORRY again. I tried to teach, she tried to learn. ADDICTION is just weakness a human failing ! - she tells me.
I know I have her in my life daily - I LOVE HER SO MUCH! But since she can't fix my addiction/abuse she's angry at me about it. Who wouldn't be? So my Emotional and Personal life & relationships are considered common areas for everyone. Sadly, they are not.
Soon my Little Sister will introduce a brand new Neice into MOTHER's Gravity well. The Baby will save me Months of MOTHER's Judgement and Love. Down will fall Baby...The Gravity, the Gravity...
Timothy loves the new baby already.